When dating apps and psychology intersect, magic happens

In 1997, psychologist Arthur Aron put strangers in a room together and had them ask each other 36 gut-wrenchingly intimate questions. He wanted to see if falling in love was an action, rather than a reaction. Six months later, one of the newly-introduced couples were married. Eighteen years later, in an age of apps and digital dating, I, with the help of some single friends, took these questions to Tinder. Our love-starved souls went into this social experiment expecting a tirade of sexist, dirty responses. What we got instead was strangers opening up and telling us their deepest, darkest secrets, joking with us, and wanting us to reciprocate. Of course we got the odd dirty answer (I mean, c’mon, it’s Tinder), but overall, the results were, well, fascinating.

1. GIVEN THE CHOICE OF ANYONE IN THE WORLD, WHOM WOULD YOU WANT AS A DINNER GUEST?

Question1
Are you saying of anyone in the world, you would like me to be your dinner guest? Okay, if you insist.  

2. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE FAMOUS? IN WHAT WAY?

question2
I can’t think of any famous metal heads off the top of my head… but cool. 

3. BEFORE MAKING A PHONE CALL, DO YOU EVER REHEARSE WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO SAY? WHY?

question3
I want to know more about this “of course.” Why? Why?

4. WHAT WOULD CONSTITUTE A PERFECT DAY FOR YOU?

Question4
Never leave Alberta, dude, and every day will be perfect. #simplelife

5. WHEN DID YOU LAST SING TO YOURSELF?
question5

I just had a visceral reaction to this. 

6. IF YOU WERE ABLE TO LIVE TO THE AGE OF 90 AND RETAIN EITHER THE MIND OR BODY OF A 30-YEAR OLD FOR THE LAST 60 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

question6

Deep shit.

7. DO YOU HAVE A SECRET HUNCH ABOUT HOW YOU WILL DIE?

question7a

Champ.

8. NAME THREE THINGS YOU AND YOUR PARTNER APPEAR TO HAVE IN COMMON.

question8
How do you know these things from my pictures? Can you read minds? Magic. Crazy. 

9. FOR WHAT IN YOUR LIFE DO YOU FEEL MOST GRATEFUL?

Question9
Jah bless genetics.

10. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THE WAY YOU WERE RAISED, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

question10
Thanks for the honesty. And the compliment. 

11. TAKE FOUR MINUTES AND TELL YOU PARTNER YOUR LIFE STORY IN AS MUCH DETAIL AS POSSIBLE.

question11

In all seriousness, I kept talking to this guy.

12. IF YOU COULD WAKE UP TOMORROW HAVING GAINED ONE QUALITY OR ABILITY, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Question12

Does it involve me?

13. IF A CRYSTAL BALL COULD TELL YOU THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF, YOUR LIFE, THE FUTURE OR ANYTHING ELSE, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT TO KNOW?

Question13
I really doubt that. But, I mean, it’s your crystal ball, so you tell me. 

14. IS THERE SOMETHING THAT YOU’VE DREAMT OF DOING FOR A LONG TIME? WHY HAVEN’T YOU DONE IT?

question14

What about dinosaurs with glowing top hats?  

15. WHAT IS THE GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT OF YOUR LIFE?

Question15
Your values have changed since then? But, Mario Bros, bro.

16. WHAT DO YOU VALUE MOST IN A FRIENDSHIP?

question16
I see what you did there. I’m not even mad.

17. WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED MEMORY?

question17a

That treasured memory is soon going to turn into your most terrible memory.

18. WHAT IS YOUR MOST TERRIBLE MEMORY?

question18

Bears. Scary.  I’m sorry I made you relive that.

19. IF YOU KNEW THAT IN ONE YEAR YOU WOULD DIE SUDDENLY, WOULD YOU CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THE WAY YOU ARE NOW LIVING?

question19

Cute ‘lil response there. Awhhhh.

20. WHAT DOES FRIENDSHIP MEAN TO YOU?

question20

Yeah, cool. Let’s be friends.

21. WHAT ROLES DO LOVE AND AFFECTION PLAY IN YOUR LIFE?

question21

I’m burnin’ hot.  Hot and heavy.  It’s what I want.  Hot and heavy.

22. ALTERNATE SHARING SOMETHING YOU CONSIDER A POSITIVE CHARACTERISTIC OF YOUR PARTNER.

Question22

‘Choz, smiles… everything was so good until you said shocker.

23. HOW CLOSE IS YOUR FAMILY?

question23
Touché . 

24. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOTHER?

question24

Can I meet her? Please? Please, please please?

25. MAKE THREE TRUE “WE” STATEMENTS EACH. FOR INSTANCE, “WE ARE BOTH IN THIS ROOM FEELING…”

question25

We are both falling in love…

26. COMPLETE THIS SENTENCE “I WISH I HAD SOMEONE WITH WHOM I COULD SHARE…”

Question26

*Swoon* Am I right?

27. IF YOU WERE GOING TO BECOME A CLOSE FRIEND WITH YOUR PARTNER, PLEASE SHARE WHAT WOULD BE IMPORTANT FOR HIM OR HER TO KNOW.

question27

Are you gonna invite me to a Pants Party now?

28. TELL YOUR PARTNER WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT THEM: BE HONEST THIS TIME, SAYING THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT NOT SAY TO SOMEONE YOU’VE JUST MET.
question28

I do interest you, do I?

29. SHARE WITH YOUR PARTNER AN EMBARRASSING MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE.

question29

I don’t understand. That’s embarrassing?

30. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY IN FRONT OF ANOTHER PERSON? BY YOURSELF?

question30

Well, that’s enough to make a member of the Hell’s Angels cry, so no judgement here. 

31. TELL YOUR PARTNER SOMETHING THAT YOU LIKE ABOUT THEM ALREADY.

question31
MEANT TO BE.

32. WHAT, IF ANYTHING, IS TOO SERIOUS TO BE JOKED ABOUT?

question32

Abortion. It really brings out the child in you.

33. IF YOU WERE TO DIE THIS EVENING WITH NO OPPORTUNITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH ANYONE, WHAT WOULD YOU MOST REGRET NOT HAVING TOLD SOMEONE?

question33

What about me? Do I mean anything to you? TELL ME. YOU’LL REGRET IT IF YOU DON’T.

34. YOUR HOUSE, CONTAINING EVERYTHING YOU OWN, CATCHES FIRE. AFTER SAVING YOUR LOVED ONES AND PETS, YOU HAVE TIME TO SAFELY MAKE A FINAL DASH TO SAVE ANY ONE ITEM. WHAT WOULD IT BE? WHY?

question34

God damn it. He found us out. 

35. OF ALL THE PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY, WHOSE DEATH WOULD YOU FIND MOST DISTURBING? WHY?

question35

Oh man. This is real sad. Too far. 

36. SHARE A PERSONAL PROBLEM AND ASK YOUR PARTNER’S ADVICE ON HOW HE OR SHE MIGHT HANDLE IT.

question36

A man after my own heart. 

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